Don't You Wanna Stay
by KatelynRoxUrSox
Summary: The team is going through hell, and one team member in particular has a problem that makes his relationships rocky. Who will be there to comfort? Who will get hurt? Character POV Collection. Song fic: Don't You Wanna Stay- Jason Aldean. JJ's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**JJ's POV: Takes place after Season 3 episode…2…(The Milaukee Case) I forget the name..something like In Name and Blood... You'll remember as the story goes on. JJ hasn't met Will yet in this story. **

**I don't own Criminal Minds. If I did it would never end and Paget and AJ would have never left the show…but like I said…I don't. Wish I did…but I don't. **

**Song: Don't You Wanna Stay- Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson**

**Don't you wanna stay here a little while**

**don't you wanna hold each other tight**

**don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight**

**don't you wanna stay here a little while **

**we can make forever feel this way**

**don't you wanna stay**

I closed the file slowly, hesitantly. I opened it up again once more.

"Make a decision, Jayje. What does your gut say?" I asked myself aloud. I was alone in the BAU, late at night, like always, going through case files, deciding where the team would go next, and where they wouldn't go. The decisions I've made in this office have been the scariest decisions I've ever made. Never the less, I was, as usual, the only one left in the BAU, or so I thought.

I picked up the stack of files that I had gone through tonight. I stood, and exited my office, walking slowly across the catwalk to Hotch's office, where I always left the files at night, and where he would take them in the morning.

I looked out at the dark and empty bullpen, where during the day, agents, including my friends, the members of this team, would hustle and bustle, getting things done.

As I rounded the corner to Hotch's office, I realized, his light was on. I knocked, and waited, but there was no response. I knocked again, but still no response. After the third time knocking without response, I slowly turned the handle, nervous to what I might find. When I entered his office, he was fine, reading files. He didn't look up at me when I entered, though.

"Hotch," I said quietly. He didn't answer me.

"Hotch," I repeated, a little bit louder this time. Still, he did not answer me.

"Aaron," I said loudly in a normal volumed voice. He looked up slowly.

"Yes JJ?" He asked, as if nothing had happened.

"Did you hear me? Knocking? Saying your name?" I asked with a puzzled look on my face.

"No. I'm sorry," He mumbled.

"Are you alright, Hotch?" I asked softly, putting the files on a side table, and walking closer to his desk.

"Fine," He said shrugging.

"You should go home," [_with me] _I said, careful not to add the 'with me'. "It's late…" I said putting my hand on his desk. He never stayed this late, and when he had his young, adorable son, Jack, and a wife, Haley, waiting for him at home, he shouldn't be staying this late.

"I will, JJ…you should too," He said, "Why are you out so late?"

"Hotch," I said, confused, because he should know this, "I…I'm always here this late," I said shrugging. I, unlike him, did not have anyone to go home to. I was ok with that, I suppose.

"Right…sorry," He mumbled, "Go, JJ, I'll be out of here shortly," he told me, obviously trying to get rid of me now.

"Okay…" I said reluctantly, nodding, "Have a good night," I said quietly. I heard him mumble a 'you too,' and then I shut the door. I quickly walked back to my office, shut the door, and sank into my chair.

I had said, _go home, _but I wanted to say _go home with me. _But I couldn't say that. He had a wife and a son, and he loved them and he wouldn't do that to them. Besides, his wife resented this team and his job. Hotch's job, like the rest of the team's, required him to be away a lot. He was with us more than he was with her. What made her even angrier was when she would call, but Hotch wouldn't answer, so she would call me, because she knew, within seconds, I could Hotch on the line.

Hotch and I…we had a relationship. It wasn't sexual, or romantic. It was a pure friendship. Whether he wanted it to be more, or how he felt, I didn't know. I cared about him. I cared deeply. I just wished he understood that more, and would open up to me more.

I collected my things and exited my office, shutting and locking the door. As I walked to my car, I wondered why Hotch was acting so strangely. We had just come back from a tough case. Gideon was missing, no one knew where he was. Emily had resigned from the BAU, because of pressures for the Unit Chief Strauss, who besides pressuring Emily, pressured Hotch. He was suspended for actions she believed to have been the reason for two deaths in a previous case. She also insisted on coming on the case with us, which made it worse. Hotch convinced Emily to come on this case with us, and at the end, she decided to rejoin the BAU.

Maybe he was acting strangely because of all this, and because now he had to run everything by Strauss, who was keeping a watchful eye on the team and especially on Hotch. She really didn't like Hotch. She didn't think he was fit to be in charge of this team.

This seemed like reason enough to be stressed out, for Hotch. I shrugged and opened my car door. I closed it and sat down and decided that as long as I watched out for Hotch, it would be ok. Everything would start to get back to normal.

Boy, was I wrong.

I got home and parked out on the street in front of my apartment. As I got out I thought of Emily…was she ok? She _had _just gotten hit in the head. I thought of Spence…He was _so _worried about Gideon. Gideon…where was he? Why was he putting us through this hell? I thought of Derek. He acted tough, and he was, strong and dedicated, but wasn't any of this bugging him? Was it strange that Hotch was my first priority?

I walked up the stairs of the apartment building. I unlocked the door to my apartment and walked in, breathing in the scent of home. I was exhausted and so glad to be home. I yawned as I put my bag down by the door. I quickly locked up and went to bed.

"Everything will be back to normal in the morning, Jayje," I said to myself aloud, and I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: **

**Deeda: **Thanks for your review!

**For everyone who added this story as a favorite, I"m glad you like it! Hopefully more people will start reading this! Please review and let me know what you like, didn't like, and where you hope the story will go! **

**Enjoy! :)**

I really hate to let this moment go

Touching your skin and your hair falling slow

When a goodbye kiss feels like this

Similar to how I was always the last to leave work, with the exception of last night, I was usually the first one to the BAU in the morning. I had to go over what case I had picked for the team to look at. I had to give it a last review to make sure my choice was right. If I chose not to show my team a case, and then someone dies or gets hurt, it's my fault, and it's on my shoulders, so I liked to review my choice several times.

I stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby of the BAU. As I started walking towards my office, I looked at my watch. 7:30am on the dot. It would be a little over an hour before Hotch came in, and shortly after that, the rest of the team would begin to roll in. We briefed new cases at 10am, unless there was an emergency, so the team got there around 8 or so, socialized, did some last minute paper work or filing, and then the day at work really started when it was time to look at a new case.

I walked across the bullpen and up the stairs of the catwalk. As I passed Hotch's office, I realized, that he was in there. I was confused. He usually dropped Jack off at school and came in when he was home. Why was he here so early?

"Hotch?" I asked, knocking on his door. No response.

"This is getting old," I muttered, and slowly turned the handle of the door. I opened it slightly and peered in. He was half asleep, while reading over some papers.

"Hotch?" I asked walking in.

"Good morning, JJ," He mumbled.

"Did you even go home last night?" I asked. I was a little annoyed. He had better have gone home. I told him to. He said he would.

"I did. I just got here," He said nodding.

"You look like a mess, Hotch," I said, noticing the dark circles under his blood shot eyes, his hair slightly disheveled and his tie loose. He did not look like the normal trim and clean cut Unit Chief that I knew.

"I guess I didn't sleep too well last night," Hotch said shrugging.

"Will you be okay today? We have a case…" I said sighing.

"I'll…I'll be fine. I just need some coffee," He said shrugging.

"Well, alright," I said reluctantly. As I turned to leave, I tried one last time, "Are you sure you don't want to go home for the day? You can authorize Derek or Dave," I reminded him.

"I know. I'll be fine. Thank you, JJ," He said, nodding.

"Yeah…ok, of course, Hotch," I said slowly. I walked out of his office, tired of trying to persuade him. That was that. I sighed as I gently closed his door behind me. I trudged over to the coffee machine, and started to brew up a pot of it. I sat down at a table near by. I pulled out a few files and started reading them as I waited for the coffee.

About 15 minutes later, when the coffee was done, I poured myself a cup and I poured one for Hotch, which I took to his office. I walked in with the steaming cup and placed it on his desk.

"Thank you. You didn't have to-" He began.

"I know," I said shrugging. I walked out of his office.

"JJ," He called to me. I turned back around.

"Really," He said nodding, for the first time, looking a little bit back to life, "Thanks," He said.

"Yeah," I said nodding, "You're welcome," I smiled a little, "Come out soon?" I asked.

"I will," He nodded. I smiled again and walked out shutting the door. I looked at my watch again. I had a habit of always checking the time, no matter where I was. It was almost 8:30am. The first member of the team to get in was usually Derek. Today, however, Emily was the first. I watched from the cat walk as she walked over to her desk.

She looked up from the files she had been stacking on her desk and saw me. She smiled. I smiled a little, but as I saw the bandage on her forehead, I got frustrated, and angry.

"It's getting better, JJ. Don't worry," Emily assured me.

"I just wish…" I began to say 'someone had gone in with you', but Emily already had anticipated that.

"I know, Jayje. It's over and every one is okay," Emily assured me.

_ Almost everyone,_ I thought to myself, remembering Hotch.

"You ok?" Emily asked, probably noticing me deep in my thoughts.

"Fine," I said nodding. Obviously I was not that believable, because Emily did _not_ believe me, but she knew not to push.

"Good," Emily said nodding, not believing me at all, but accepting it. I was fine. It wasn't me that was acting strangely. It was Hotch. But I couldn't tell Emily. With Strauss on her ass, too, she had too much to think about. She didn't need to be thinking about any one else. Emily noticed the coffee pot filled.

"Ohhh, you made coffee. Thank god," Emily said praisingly. I smiled.

Next to walk in was Spence. He looked nervous and uneasy. He didn't look good. I walked up to his desk as he unpacked his bag.

"Spence," I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder, "Are you alright?"

"I'm…Gideon hasn't returned my calls," He said quickly.

"He's probably up at his cabin…you know how he likes it up there. Maybe he didn't see it," I said shrugging, trying to make him feel better.

"He didn't see 12 calls?" Spence asked.

"12? Spence, just…give him a little time. He's probably confused and…obviously sad. Maybe he just wants to grieve alone for a little while. Maybe…in a few days he'll come back, and when he does, then, he'll need you," I explained to him.

He sighed, "Maybe you're right…" His voice trailed away, "Thanks." I nodded with a smile. Hotch was still not out of his office. I sighed.

THe next to walk in was Garcia.

"Good morning peaches. You look beautiful as ever this morning!" My best friend exclaimed, walking towards me.

"Thanks Garcia," I said, "You look nice too," I said smiling at her bright red and yellow outfit.

"I do my best," She said laughing. I gave a small smile as she began to walk towards her office.

"Good morning, gorgeous," I heard a man's voice. It was Derek.

"I'll show you a good morning, hot stuff," Garcia retorted.

"How do you know I wasn't talking to Ms. Jareau, over there, mama?" Derek asked laughing.

"Because I'm gorgeous. She's sexy. There's a difference, that, yes, even you, understand," Garcia said laughing.

"Alright then," Derek said giving her that one. He turned to me, "Good morning sexy," He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Morning, Derek," I said. I was preoccupied, though. My eyes were almost fixed to Hotch's office door. He was still not out.

"Jennifer," Derek said. He never called me Jennifer unless it was serious, just like I never called Hotch: Aaron, unless I needed to. I turned to look at Derek.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah fine, why wouldn't I be?" I asked shrugging.

"Oh… I uh, just checking," Derek said shrugging.

"Thanks," I said, "I'm good, though," I said nodding. I walked away. I walked to my office and watched as Derek walked over to Emily.

He looked at my office, said something to Emily, and then she looked at my office and then back a Derek. It was obvious they were talking about me. No one seemed to notice Hotch's absence.

I pulled out the files the team would need, from my office and walked out.

"Guys," i said, calling for them to meet me in the conference room. I handed the files to Emily.

"Could you pass these out? I'm going to get Hotch," I said to her.

"Of course. And uh, you sure you're ok?" She asked.

"I'm fine, no worries," I said shrugging. Was it really that obvious? Or was it because they were all fantastic profilers. I sighed and walked to Hotch's office.

"Hotch," I said.

"Yes, JJ?" He asked.

"Are you coming or not?" I asked angrily.

"Excuse me?" He asked, surprised.

"You have a team that's falling apart, and if I may be perfectly honest with you, it seems that you're having your own troubles. You have an agent missing, an agent who can't focus because another is missing, an agent with a concussion and some obvious trauma from a face down with an unsub, and me. An agent who is so worried about her team and her unit leader," I explained frustratedly.

"Anything going on outside work is my own personal business. No one else's," Hotch said sternly.

"It is if you can't do your job because of your 'personal business'," I hissed.

"You're out of line," He said angrily. I almost exploded, but instead I chose the calm response.

"My apologies. When you're ready, we have a case," I finished, sighing. I walked out of his office swiftly, and passed the team, without making eye contact.

My relationship with Hotch had been rocky, to say the least, since I started at the BAU. Most of the time I was his right hand man…woman, his partner in crime, his side kick. We were friends. And secretly, and when I say secretly, I completely mean it, no one knew this, we were once a little more than friends. It happened a year after I had joined the BAU.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: Thanks for the reviews, and the story alerts. I hope you like this story! Just a warning, this chapter is kind of M rated, for a little bit of sex…no biggy though. :) **

**Angry Penguin: I'll take your vote into consideration :) *hint hint***

**Deeda: Here's your update and here's when you'll find out what happened after JJ joined the BAU!**

**Lets take it slow I don't wanna move to fast**

**I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last**

**when your up this high its a sad goodbye**

_(Flash Back- 2007)_

_** "**__Aaron, maybe we shouldn't-" I tried during moments when we gasped for breath._

_ "Shh, it's ok," He told me and continued to kiss me. His tongue beckoned for entrance between my lips and I allowed it. I felt him explore every inch of my mouth, while I caressed the back of his head, running my hand through my hair. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my legs wrapped around his waist._

_ "Mhmm," I moaned as we kissed. I pulled of his shirt and he started to unbutton my blouse. Within moments we were both topless, kissing again, harder this time, and he was pulling me down on to my bed. _

_ He was here with me, because we were both drunk. Drunk and stupid and we knew we would regret this in the morning, but neither of us cared. _

_ By now, we were completely naked, legs wrapped around each other, tongues tangled, in my bed. In my apartment._

_ "I love you, Jennifer," He told me. And then we made love._

_ "I love you, too, Aaron," I told him. I felt a warm tear run down my cheek_

_because I knew that in the morning, we would have to pretend like this never happened. Because it shouldn't have happened, and as far as any one was concerned, it DIDN'T happen. _

_ We fell asleep next to each other holding hands. We woke up the next morning together. He hadn't left. I knew he had a wife. I knew he had a wife who had just found out that she was pregnant a month ago. I knew, but I let this happen. _

_ "Will Haley wonder why you were gone?" I asked softly as he began to get dressed, and I got ready to shower._

_ "No," He shook his head, "She had to stay over night at the hospital so they could see how the baby is developing," He explained, shrugging. It was as if we were just two colleagues having a normal conversation. But we weren't._

_ "Jennifer," He began._

_ "I know…" I said, nodding sadly._

_ "No one can know," He said._

_ "I know," I told him, "This can't happen again," I said._

_ He nodded sadly. _

_ Last night, we had all gone out, the whole team, and we all had a little too much to drink. _

_ Hotch, not wanting me to go home alone, drunk, offered to drive me there. Stupidly, I had agreed. So there I was, standing there, alone, like a whore. The woman who could have been the home wrecker for her boss._

_ But then he walked up to me, held me for a moment, and kissed me, not like someone would kiss their 'mistress' but how they would kiss their wife, someone they really loved. _

_ "I do love you, though," He said quietly._

_ "I love you, too…" I whispered. We stood there in silence for a moment, "You should go now,' I told him._

_ "You're right…" He said reluctantly, "I'll see you at work this morning." With that, he left, leaving me in my room, feeling stupid and sad._

Present time

I walked into the conference room where I saw Garcia siting with her lap top.

"Is anyone else coming?" She asked smiling.

"I don't know," I said sighing, rubbing my temples.

"You ok, peaches?" She asked me seriously.

"Fine," I nodded. I couldn't tell everyone what was going on. No one needed to know.

"Ok,' Garcia said, not believing me. I must have been a pretty bad liar, because she wasn't even a profiler and she knew something was up.

"I know what you're thinking," She said to me.

"You have no idea," I said in warning voice. I didn't want her to push.

"You're probably thinking about what a crappy liar you are. Because I know something is up and I'm not a profiler," Garcia said.

"No, that's not it…" I lied.

"Well just know, you are a bad liar, but i know, because i'm your best friend. And that's the kind of thing best friends know," She told me. I sighed.

"So when you wanna talk…you know where I'll be," She told me.

"Thank you Penelope," I whispered. Then Derek and Emily walked in, followed by Spence and then Hotch.

"I…I got a letter," Spencer stuttered.

"From who, Spence?" I asked.

"Gideon…He's…he's not coming back…and he's sorry," Spencer tried. He couldn't speak.

"So that's it?" Derek asked angrily.

"That's it. We have a case, and I need your heads here," Hotch said sitting down in his chair.

"JJ," He said. He was being strictly business with me. I knew it. I knew that face he made when he was 'strictly business'. I got that face from a week after our affair till when Haley gave birth to their son, Jack.

_(Flash back)2007_

_ For the first week after what had happened, Hotch and I had a great relationship. His hand would brush up against mine, and his would linger there for a moment. He would smile at me from across the room, and I would be the only one to see. We were close. He cared about me. _

_ Then something happened. Maybe his wife said something to him. I don't know how she would have found out anything about how we were at work, but after about a week, everything changed._

_ I walked into his office with a some files that he had asked for._

_ "Good morning, Aaron," I said smiling, awaiting the 'good morning, Jennifer' he had given me every morning._

_ "JJ, can you shut the door?" He asked sternly._

_ "Of course. What's going on?" I asked as I shut the door. _

_ "Sit down," He told me. I did. What was going on?_

_ "This needs to stop," He said._

_ "What?" I asked confused.a_

_ "This. All of it. I'm doing it, too, I know I am. But we can't anymore," He said. I must have still looked confused, because he began to explain, "The first name thing, instead of Hotch and JJ, the holding hands on 'accident', the little things. The special ones. I wish they didn't, but we're colleagues, teammates, nothing more. We can't be. I have a pregnant wife…" Hotch said sighing._

_ "I understand. And…I'm so sorry," I apologized._

_ "I am, too," He said sadly._

_ "Here are the files on Agent Prentiss that you asked for. Gideon has decided to take her with him to Gitmo, because of her knowledge of Arabic and the culture," I told him quickly._

_ "thank you," He said, and as I turned to leave, before opening the door he said, "I am sorry I got you into this."_

_ "It's my fault, too," I said softly, and with that, I exited his office. After that, I got the 'strictly business' face. _


	4. Chapter 4

_**a/n: Thanks for the reviews! They make me super happy hah! Uhmee, not much else to say really…which is pretty rare for me ;)**_

**Don't you wanna stay here a little while**

**don't you wanna hold each other tight**

**don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight**

**don't you wanna stay here a little while **

**we can make forever feel this way**

**don't you wanna stay**

I began to explain the case. It was a series of home invasions in Denver that had escalated to the murders of families. After I finished briefing the team, I watched as they spit balled ideas, giving snips of profiles, and relating this case to other previous cases.

"Alright every body. We're going to Denver. Wheel's up in 30," Hotch said quickly. Everyone nodded, collecting their files and bags and moved to the bull pen.

I looked at Hotch for a moment, trying to study his expressions, trying to read his mind. I couldn't. He was walled off and he wasn't letting any one in.

He caught me looking and shook his head 'no' at me. With that he left the room, once again, leaving me alone. I sighed and followed him out. I went into the bathroom to splash some cool water onto my face. I had gotten frustrated with Hotch, and I knew my face was probably flushed. As i entered the bathroom, I heard someone muttering in Italian.

"Come sono arrivato in questo pasticcio? Perché sono tornato?_" _As I rounded the corner, I saw Emily leaning against the counter, back to the mirror, looking up at the ceiling.

"You talk to yourself in Italian?" I asked smiling. She jumped.

"Oh Jesus, Jayje. You scared me. I didn't see you," Emily exclaimed.

I laughed, "I'm sorry, Em…so, uh, Italian?" I asked, waiting for an explanation.

She sighed, "Only when I'm stressed…and the fingernails," She admitted and flashed her bitten and picked at finger nails. She started to walk towards the door. I followed. We exited the bathroom and continued talking.

"I'm sorry you're stressed…what's going on? You wanna talk?" I asked her. She shook her head. She never wanted to talk. Then slowly and reluctantly, she nodded. We started walking to her desk where she had her grabbed her bag and we started walking towards the elevator.

"Ok, then let's talk," I said, "What's going on?" I pressed the elevator button.

"Well…" Emily began, and brought her voice down lower, into a whisper as we stepped into the elevator, "Strauss…um, well, she's asked me to do something…that I don't want to do."

I looked at her confused, "What kind of something?" The elevator stopped, the doors opened and we stepped out.

"She wants me to," Emily paused and looked both ways to make sure no one was around, "Report things…about the team."

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Especially about Hotch…she…doesn't think he's the best fit to lead our team," She said quietly.

"She said that?" I asked. I was angry, but not too surprised.

Emily nodded slowly.

"Oh my god," I muttered angrily…then something dawned on me. Did Hotch know about this? Was this why he was acting strangely. We had reached the air strip. We stopped infront of the stairs of the jet.

"You haven't told anyone this? Hotch?" I asked.

"Just you…you will keep this a secret, right?" Emily asked me. She had eyes big, like a little kid asking their best friend to keep a promise.

"Of course, Emily," I said nodding.

"Promise?" She asked hesitantly. I sighed. I hated making promises that I couldn't be sure if I couldn't keep. But of course, like a good friend, I had to. She had to trust me. They all did.

"Promise," I said nodding. Then a dawn of realization came across Emily's face.

"Wait…JJ," She said slowly.

"What?" I asked.

"Is that why you've been acting weird…Hotch? Is something up with him? With you? With you and him?" Emily asked

"I don't know what is going on with Hotch, but it has _nothing _to do with me, I can tell you that," I said quickly, suddenly getting frustrated.

"Hey, I wasn't accusing you of anything. You don't need to get defensive!" Emily said. I sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry…I'm just…" I didn't know the word, so I let her finish for me.

"Stressed…I get it, believe me," Emily said nodding.

"C'mon, looks like Derek and Spence are coming. We should board," I said and we walked up together. I sat down and began reviewing the case file, but I couldn't help but think about Hotch. Now I was all too worried about what was going on with him.

Emily sat down across from, like always, leaving another seat open for Rossi, and another for Hotch. Derek usually leaned against the back of my seat, standing, and Reid usually sat on the couch across from us.

She chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"I feel bad for Hotch," She whispered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well now he has to deal with Haley. She hates his job, you and I both know that. You don't think she got excited, even just for a second, when Strauss suspended Hotch and suggested he switch to a white collar crime division?" Emily said. I thought for a moment. "She must be pissed," Emily continued, smiling, shaking her head.

It was sort of a joke we all, even Hotch at times, had, about how he could sometimes be more married to this team, and a case, or his desk, then he was to his wife. Little did we know at the time, that that was exactly why Hotch was being weird.

Hotch boarded and sat next to me, brushing his hand on my thigh as he sat down. He quickly pulled it away, however, and apologized.

"I'm sorry," He said. He looked stern, but almost embarrassed. Emily eyed me, but I quickly looked away, not wanting her to be able to read me. For that one moment, I felt that spark he and I used to feel when we saw each other, but that quickly went away. I couldn't feel that way anymore. It was wrong and I had made a promise.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: Thanks for the reviews, I love them! I hope you're enjoying. Any suggestions that you have please let me know! I'd love to hear. Also, I'm not really gonna write every detail about this case…(it's episode 3x04- Children of the Dark) I'm just gonna hit the highlights, while tying this story into chapter is going to start sort of towards the middle of the case…**

**Also, I hope you like the friendship I have between Emily and JJ. I totally love the relationship. Let me know what you think or if you think I should have more of it, less of it, or different relationships! :) Enjoy!**

**Don't you wanna stay here a little while**

**don't you wanna hold each other tight**

**don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight**

**don't you wanna stay here a little while **

**we can make forever feel this way**

**don't you wanna stay**

It had been two days since we had been in Denver, and we were getting close to closing the case. We had one suspect in custody and now we had to find his partner. The suspect we had in custody was the submissive one, but he was weak, and he had failed to lethally inject one of his victims, a young girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen. Her name was Carrie. It was because she reminded the unsub of his younger sister, whom he had been separated with as a child. Hotch had decided that we would bring her in to talk to the unsub, to see if she could get him to talk. He had killed her younger brother, while his partner had beat and killed her mother and father. I wasn't sure if she should talk to him.

"Wait, hold on! Are we sure this is a good idea?" I asked, stopping Emily and Hotch. Hotch turned around, almost with a glare.

"It's fine. We have to," He said sternly with some attitude and ruddiness. Now I was frustrated with him.

"Emily," I started, ignoring Hotch.

"Jayje, I'll be with her the whole time. She's strong," Emily assured me. Emily had become attached to the girl a little bit. She really cared for her. I knew that she wouldn't let her get hurt.

I sighed reluctantly, as Emily walked over to Carrie.

"Ready?" She asked Carrie. The girl nodded, and Emily took Carrie and led her into the interrogation room.

I stood next to Hotch looking through the glass.

"What's up with you?" I asked him.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"You're seriously gonna pretend like you don't know?" I asked him.

"JJ, this is not appropriate-" He began.

"Hotch…what's not appropriate is that now I'm catching attitude from you in public," I hissed.

"JJ, I'm sorry if I have offended you but this is _not_ the time," He hissed back, and then moved away from me. I couldn't even believe what he had just said.

I watched as Carrie reached her hand across the table and sympathized with the unsub. Then the police went in and took the unsub out of the room. When he was gone, Carrie broke down in tears in Emily's arms. I sighed as I watched her cry and Emily try to console her. Hotch looked at me sternly and then walked away, leaving me alone. How many times would that actually happen?

After a moment, Emily and Carrie stood and they walked out with me.

"You did so good," I told Carrie. She didn't respond. She just continued to look down at the floor. I pulled the sleeve of my sweater over my hand, and wiped away some of the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you," She whispered. I nodded. She held onto Emily's arm for another moment, then let go and walked away. Emily and I exchanged sad looks as we watched her walk away.

"You were arguing in to the mic," Emily said slowly, pointing at the microphone on the desk, that broadcasted into her ear piece, while she was interrogating.

** "**What?" I asked.

"When you and Hotch were talking…the mic button was on. I heard everything…" She said.

"Uhm…" I began slowly. This was awkward. And now I had some explaining to do.

"All of it?" I asked after a moment.

"Yeah…" Emily nodded slowly, "So now you wanna tell me what's up?"

I shook my head 'no'.

"I can guess…" Emily said.

"Go ahead. I'd rather you guess and get it wrong…then tell you the truth," I admitted.

"I might be pretty close…" Emily said shrugging.

"Ok…shoot," I said.

"Well when I first started here…you had already been here a year…you and Hotch seemed really close…closer than anyone else on the team was with you. I honestly thought you and he were dating, until Derek quickly told me absolutely not!" Emily chuckled, "But as the weeks went by…it seemed that you two were drifting apart…and then recently I was seeing that closeness again…and now I'm seeing the drifting," Emily explained.

"Well…Hotch is going through something," I said shrugging.

"Jennifer," Emily began.

"Again with the Jennifer," I exclaimed, trying to ease the tension, while also trying to change the subject.

"Hey," Emily looked at me sternly, "JJ I'm serious. What ever is wrong…you have to trust me. You can tell me…"

"I'm ok for now…I just honestly don't know what's going on, Em. I, "I paused, "I do trust you…I just need to figure out what's going on. When I do…you'll be the first to know," I promised.

"Are you sure, JJ? You sure that you're okay?" Emily asked again.

"Yeah…I'm sure," I nodded.

"Alright. I'm going to see if it's okay to get Carrie some of her things from her house," Emily told me.

"Good…Ok. I'll see you later," I said giving a half hearted smile. Emily smiled back and patted my shoulder. She started for the door. When she reached the door, she turned one last time to look at me.

"Go. I'm fine," I said. She laughed and with that, she was gone. I sighed, alone in the middle of the room. I sank into a chair that was placed by a desk and mumbled to my self, "Oh, Jenny, what _are_ you going to do?"

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	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: okay i hope you're enjoying this story. :) THanks for the reviews, thanks for adding this to your alerts! I'm soooo sorry I haven't updated in forever! I have been SO busy with school and everything. So here's a nice long chapter. This is also the end of the road. This will be the last chapter of this story. THank you for every one who has read this. I really hope you enjoyed it. Please please review and tell me what you thought of this! I'll be starting a new story soon, I just need some ideas/inspiration. Any ways, thanks sooo much, guys! Enjoy:)** "This is the job and I need to know that you can be objective," Hotch hissed sternly at Emily. I stood behind the door, not wanting to awkwardly interrupt this. "And I need to know that I can be human," Emily said with a quiver in her voice. I shuddered. Poor Emily. Hotch wasn't in a good mood and Emily was getting the unfortunate end of it. "JJ spoke to the mother's sister…they're coming to take Carrie to California tonight," Hotch said in a softer more gentle voice. "Oh…well, that's…that's good," she said, her voice on the verge of a breakdown. "Emily," Hotch said gently. "No it's…it's good. That's good. I need to go," Emily said quickly. She walked quickly out the door and into the hallway where I was standing. I followed her as she rushed down the hallway. "What?" She snapped at me when she saw me looking at her, "Did you hear that?" "Yeah…you ok?" I asked. "Fine," She said quickly and then walked out the door and towards the jet. "Em," I called, but she ignored me. I let her be. She would talk when she was ready. I turned away from the plane and saw Hotch. He looked at me, but said nothing. He walked by me and onto the plane. I sighed and followed him. I would have to talk to him later. I had to figure out what was going on with him. I boarded the plane and walked down the aisle. I sat down with Emily. She was staring wistfully out the window. "You okay," I asked softly. "Yeah," She said faintly, not looking at me. I waited for a moment. "I think it's a good idea, though," I said quietly. "What's that?" She asked me, shifting in her seat. "You…kids…I can see it," I said smiling. There was a moment of silence as Emily tried to comprehend what I had said. "Yeah?" She asked looking at me. "Yeah," I said smiling. I gave me a smile back and then stared out her window some more. I left it at that, satisfied with our conversation. The plane took of a few minutes later, and I dozed off soon after that. cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**A-FEW-HOURS-LATER**cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmI walked to the catwalk slowly, and observed as the rest of the team dispersed, trying to get home to their beds as quickly as possible. I, unfortunately, as always, had to get more paperwork done. I was buried in it! Emily was the last to leave, and she put her hand out to hold the elevator, and called to me. "JJ? You coming?" Emily asked me. I turned to look at her, and shook my head. "I have too much work to go home early," I said shrugging. "Jayje, it's almost 11pm. This isn't early. And besides, you're too young to be in all the time doing work," Emily joked. "Em, I'm almost thirty…I'm not that young any more," I joked back. "You've still got time. We'll go out sometime," Emily said laughing. "Ok," I said, half heartedly adding to her laughter. "Well, just promise me you won't stay too much longer?" Emily asked. What was with these promises? Even the small ones I couldn't keep up lately. "Yeah," I said, "I promise," Even though I knew I would probably be staying another hour or so, at the least. "Alright. Have a good night," Emily said to me and she got in to the elevator. "Yeah you too," I added after a moment, but the door had already closed. I sighed and started towards my office. I had not seen Hotch since we'd all gotten off the plane. Then, as I rounded the corner, past Hotch's office, I realized he was still here. I frowned, but did not enter. I walked into my office, and shut the door. I sat down and stared at the files on my desk. I fingered the silver chain on my neck, that had been given to me so long ago. I shook my head, trying not to think of the story. The memory. The nightmare. But it was already forming, already too real to forget. _"Jenny bean, can I talk to you?" Annie, her 16 year old sister had said to me. "Sure, Annie! What's up?" The all too peppy 11 year old Jennifer had asked. I sat down on my bed smiling, and Annie sat next to me. "I just want you to know that whatever happens, I love you. You know that right? I'll always love you?" Annie asked me. "Of course, Annie!" I had exclaimed, "Why? Why are you saying this?" "I just…sometimes people need to say things like that. You need to know, and always remember that," Annie had said, shrugging her shoulders. "Why are you so sad, Annie?" I had asked her. She on the inside and outside, felt pain, all the time. Instead of answering, she took of her necklace, "Jenny, here, I want you to have this," She said trying to hand me the necklace. "No way, Annie! You LOVE that necklace! It's your favorite!" I exclaimed. I couldn't take it, even though I had long before coveted that necklace. The pretty silver chain, and the heart with the small ruby stone in the middle. It was beautiful! "Please, Jenny. For me?" She begged. "Oh..okay, Annie. But only if you're sure," I told her. "I'm sure," She said. She slowly put it on me, around my neck, "And now Jenny?" "Yeah Annie?" I asked her. "Promise me, you'll always be good to mom and dad?" Annie asked me. "Annie? Why are you acting like this? Is something going on?" I asked worriedly. "Promise me, Jennifer," Annie said suddenly getting very serious. "Ok…I promimse," I said nodding. It had started at a young age, me making promises I didn't know if I could keep. "Good," Annie said. Then she hugged me, a bit longer than normal. I hugged her in, taking in the scent of her perfume- vanilla and brown sugar. Then Annie got up and left me in my room alone. The next morning, I awoke to my mother's piercing shriek. I sat up abruptly, as I heard my mother screaming and crying and yelling for my dad. "Mommy?" I called, quickly getting out of bed. "Go, Annie! Go into your room, now!" She snapped, as the tears poured out of her eyes. As she pushed me away from the door, I caught a glimpse of what was going on. Although I didn't understand it at the time, I saw Annie lying face down in her bed with her hair covering her face, her hand was hanging of the edge of the bed. There were some pills spilled out on the floor, and an empty medicine bottle on the carpet near her bed. I didn't know this at that moment, but Annie Jareau, my only sister, was dead._I hadn't realized that I was crying. There were a few tears running down my cheeks. I quickly wiped my eyes. Almost an hour had gone by. I hadn't exactly fallen asleep, rather, dozed off. I stood up. I needed to walk around for a minute to shake the feelings I had. I walked out of my office. Hotch's light was still on. He was still here. I walked towards his office. WIthout knocking, I entered. "You're making this a habit, aren't you?" I asked in a soft voice, joking. "You could have knocked," Hotch said coldly, ignoring my joke. "I could've…but I didn't," I said. Hotch gave a sarcastic huff. "Why are you staying here so late all the time? What's wrong?" I asked him gently. He looked at me, and I saw his tired eyes. "Haley…she took Jack…they're at her sister's," He said. I didn't completely understand. He saw this and continued, "Haley left me, Jennifer. Haley's filed for divorice," He said, his voice trailing away. "Hotch," I murmured, "I'm…I'm so sorry," I said sadly. What else could I say? He didn't respond. He just nodded. "Why have you been…" I stopped. I didn't want to ask the question. "Ignoring you? Giving you the cold shoulder?" He asked. He even knew he was doing it to me. "Yeah…" I nodded. "Because…what Haley and I had…it was consistent. It wasn't love, but it gave us a wonderful son, and we stayed together for him. We fought. Haley hated this job. Hated the team. What you and me had. That, was love. It was real. It was meant to be. But it couldn't be," He explained to me. "But why now? Why are you telling me this now?" I asked him. I was upset. Had he felt this way all along? Why hadn't he told me. "Because…Haley was going to end it. I knew it. I saw it coming. When I called Emily and told her to come to Milaukee with me, I knew that was the end, but I had to try," He explained, "And now…well…those old feelings…they're coming back. I feel that spark…that I used to feel," He admitted. I was in shock. Utter shock. I couldn't believe it. "Don't you feel it too? I'm not usually the emotional guy, but…this is different, Jennifer," He said to me. I trembled when he said my name. "Hotch…" I whispered, shaking my head, "Go home. It's late." And then I realized this was the time. This was the time to say. Say what I had wanted to say for so long. "Hotch go home. With me," I said, with a small smile on my face. He paused, then slowly started to smile as well. "I think I might take you up on that offer," He said, standing. He walked over to me and took my hands. It didn't take a profiler to see what he was going to do. He leaned over and kissed me, and I kissed back. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you, Jennifer. I really do," He said again. Those words, in that voice, that meant it was real, it sounded so familiar. "Aaron, I love you too," I said as he kissed me again. He broke away, "And this time," He began, "I won't leave you alone, like I did before," He said. We kissed again, and he held me close. This time, I knew for sure, that what he was saying was true. **don't you wanna hold each other tightdon't you wanna fall asleep with me tonightdon't you wanna stay here a little while we can make forever feel this waydon't you wanna stay** Thank you sooo much for reading! I hoped you enjoyed!


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